The birthday present quandary

We (me, actually) have always specified "No Gifts" for Henry's birthday parties. He's used to it so doesn't protest (much). He has enough plastic crap in his room and hundreds of books from the used book store already. The established custom is that you allow gifts, you then have to give back "goodie bags" which are usually small cellophane bags filled with candy and little toys, another task most parents confess they dread. The whole thing is much too involved IMHO, and Henry would rather do something with his friends than open gifts. We've gone bowling, to the High Desert Museum (funner than it sounds), to the local video game "lounge" and had sleepovers. He never misses the gift ritual.

When I tell people, most parents express relief at the rule and say they wish they followed it as well.  I'm hoping to start a movement here and a few friends have actually started doing it too.

The flip side is that I don't buy presents for his friends' birthdays. I don't have the time or money and just don't believe in it. Last week he went to three birthday parties, all of which had gifts involved. I felt like a Scrooge, and am not sure how to handle the whole thing. When Henry is invited, should I say "he'd love to come, but I should tell you we have a no-present policy?" What are they going to say - no, he can't come? I don't know if parents and kids even notice in the hubbub of the party, and frankly if we had to buy gifts for all the parties he attends, he probably wouldn't go to as many. It's all pretty awkward, though, and I'm feeling residual guilt.

What do you think about the whole birthday gift ritual? I'd love to hear your thoughts, and any suggestions on how to handle.

Signed, Ms. Scrooge McDuck